Sunday, 27 May 2007

Sounds of Time - Part I: The Hourglass of Quick Sand

Far out I'm in the thick of it - "the deeper I go the deeper it gets" - Jamie Andreas

Actually. Being that I'm doing the muse-sick for the game. I will call to your attention a few lyrics. If I may. Only because they reflect how I am feeling at the moment. Then I will describe the relevance of these lyrics in context to my workload and my emotional state.

Click the titles to hear and see the videos of these songs.


Muse - Time is Running Out

I think I'm drowning
asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
that you've created

you're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
you'd never dream of
breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
how did it come to this?
ooooohh

you will suck the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
ooooohh




The Dillinger Escape Plan - Unretrofied


Is the can half diseased or is the disease half canned?
And is the man half machine or is machine half man?
I'm unretrofied for you.
Is the can half diseased or is the disease half canned?
Or is the man half machine or the machine half man?
I'm unretrofied for you, so come on, so come on.

I'll just fake it in the end,
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end,
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again.

Now they're looting our holes until there is nothing left,
Calloused intentions it seems cowards invention at best,
I'm unretrofied for you.
Now they're looting our holes until there is nothing left,
Calloused intentions it seems cowards invention at best,
I'm unretrofied for you, so come on, so come on.

I'll just fake it in the end,
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end,
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again - we're all dead.

Jesus can't play the music 'cause he's nailed to the cross,
And over gnawed off feet I find that I can't walk,
I can't walk,
I can't even walk.

I'll just fake it in the end,
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end,
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again.

I'll just fake it in the end,
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end,
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again - we're all dead.


Ok so there we have it.
We are so so so so close to the deadline, ALPHA on WEDNESDAY!!! And I have been socialising. SOCIALISING! What the hell. I need to get real. Although I have to say the deadline certainly has motivated me.

Right. So I have spent the last 2 or so hours designing a system for all our files. It is in order of narrative and events. I initially started it because I needed to organise my music files and immediately be able to reaccess the audio as I required it.

At first I thought that it would be easy, just one folder for each part of the game, which I had in place already. But then as I sorted through the music again, the sounds, I realised how disorganised this approach was, and I bore in mind that the game compilers would have had to sort through dozens of files in each folder in order to locate the relevant one.

So I began to follow the story and number the stream of events (which you will see). The levels keep increasing, and increasing, and increasing. Deeper and Deeper into the story. It's making me think in terms of organisation.

I'm beginning to consider the possibility that the skills I am learning in this Game Design class will sink into the depths of my subconscious, and my cross-lateral thinking will begin to apply the various facets of knowledge to other areas of my conscious existence.

This is a huge revelation for me. The idea that I may actually become an organised person as a consequence of forced tasks. So in effect this is punting my motivation levels up a little, giving them a new purpose - a deeper one.

I am sensing an instinct which suggests that it will get harder before it gets easy.

Mind building -
is body building:

Mind Induction
Minduction.

- Upon joining the gym, you must overcome self-consciousness and counter your esteem levels. The reason for this is there are so many muscley people - and you look small in comparison.

Then it is a matter of having to exert yourself beyond your limits.

- There will be pain and fatigue. There may be embarassment as you attempt to lift weights too heavy for your little bumps.

However after all this effort, the results will start to become noticable, and then others will notice you, and the roles will reverse.

Much like how the teacher teaches potential future teachers - The teacher is taught by future teachers. The Teacher becomes the Pupil & vice versa.

Zen - Beginners mind.

*********


I keep returning to the sound files I have already heard, trying to find more successful solutions.
I do this because I am given new information; new designs; refined designs; dialogue - it is a live creature, this sound business. (*sidetrack* double entendre: there is only money in live music these days, record sales are becoming more and more obsolete - piracy).

Ideas can contradict themselves if they're analysed too deeply. Sometimes it's best to do a skim read and allow the mind to figure out the intended relationships. Soft-focus.

Second lyrics::::::

I'll just fake it in the end.
Just save it for a new song, and leave dead in the end.
Time is wasted in the end.
Wood paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again.

That is what I had to do with nearly all of the puzzles - Fake it. No one understands them (or wants to) so for the sake of conformity I've had to water them down, even fake my ability - become something I'm not. Which is fine, because I can save all the ideas I brainstormed for later. I'll be the one who is happier in the end. Stimulated. Congruent.

I Joseph, am hereby formally addicted to self-induced self-indulgency.

We as humans think we are a product of our own existence. However [I believe] the opposite is true. We are the existence of other people's products. We as humans are a product. Our own experiences are determined by set ideologies that were force fed to us.

Do we eat from the hands of a disease or do the diseased hands eat us, manipulating... reverse engineering our brains to learn how to sculpt it to their wants. Maybe we don't conform, we are just a huge conformation. A confirmation of this conformation would be the music industry. We can't help that we 'like' pop-music. It's all we're given!!! Mass Passive Flaccidity.

We give ourselves aural sex. Is it masturbation if the other person shows us how to do it their way? No wonder society has a short attention span. Short songs, short tempers, short sighted, shallow minded, stunted growth. We are all premature ejaculators. Then we complain to the doctors about it.

We are a cultural chode, extending further and further outwards - from the base, on explored territory - but never upwards. Never where we should be going. Do we learn from our mistakes? Barely ever. We are still fighting, consuming, abusing.

Spreading our legs - but never our wings.

I procrastinate. I masturbate. I resume. I consume.
I cheat. I bleat. I lie. I die.

The first step is awareness. Assume Everything!
You assume you have control? Assume nothing!

Assume your position.

~~~~

Perhaps we need to think less in terms of imitation and reproduction. But more in terms of irritation and reduction.

Irritate - think outside our comfort zone. Dissonance. Atonality.

Reduction - Reduce ourselves to the fundamentals to discover who we really are as human beings. Our roots. Microtonal.

Our imitations become our limitations.
Sex sells. War sells (death creates more opportunities to reproduce).


The Duce-Juice Theory

Produce - Induce - Seduce - Reproduce



"Lets juice 'em for all they got.
Suck 'em dry."

~The Duce


This reminds me of a song::: Damn. It's so, sooooo... [fitting].

[no link, as Tool never did a video to this song]

Tool - Ticks & Leeches

Suck and suck. suckin up all you can suckin up all you can suck.
Workin up under my patience like a little tick.
Fat little parasite. suck me dry.
My blood is bruised and borrowed. you thieving bastards.
You have turned my blood cold and bitter,
Beat my compassion black and blue.

Hope this is what you wanted.
Hope this is what you had in mind.
Cuz this is what youre getting.
I hope youre choking. I hope you choke on this.
I hope youre choking. I hope you choke on this.

Taken all I can taken all I can, we can take. taken all you can taken you can,
We can take.
Got nothing left to give to you.
Blood suckin parasitic little blood suckin parasitic little
Blood suckin parasitic little tick
Take what you want and then go.

Suck me dry.

Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you had in mind?
Is this what you wanted?
Cuz this this is what youre getting.
I hope, I hope, I hope you choke.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And a last word:

Society, the Eternal Blowjob.


MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 comments:

Lincoln said...

I've always been roots orientated myself in just about everything I do, keep yourself grounded, keep it real. It's interesting we or you can say these things but people will always be victims of society.

JosephExplosive said...

One can only try. The first step is to make people aware of it. I think most of the reason for it is we need to have a sense of belonging. Security.

Jon said...

Very nice blog you have here, Joseph. It's like a big, boiling hot cauldron of thoughts, particularly this entry. If it was a flavour it would be spicy. It's painful (truth) but you still savour it.

I know I shouldn't be here since I'm not in Game Dev, but I'm a curious individual and I felt like leaving my mark here (haha I sound conceited) as I find your blog particularly interesting.

Good luck with your game project!

PS. Penis.
PSS. Vagina.
PSSS. I can imagine you shuddering.

JosephExplosive said...

Thanks :D
This is a public blog so ANYONE can comment. That means you! Anyway... if I don't like what you say I can just delete it. Bahahaha (yuss).

Waffa said...

It's like i would know you.

oh, what is difference between ' you ' and ' i ', can there be one without other?